I know what you are going through because I have been wearing similar shoes in my lifetime. It is very easy to hurt people if you have short-tempered. The people who are affected the most are the ones who are close to you example; your family, husband, children, and co-workers. A short-tempered person is a person who gets upset or angry very quickly. Many things could trigger a person to be short-tempered such as stress, anxiety, worries, financial problem, family issue, etc.
I remember when growing up, my dad had a very short temper towards everyone around him. He would scream and want things to be done well. Scolding and screaming were very normal in our home. My dad was a businessman and he traveled a lot, and when he was not around, the house was at peace(that was what I thought back then). But when he returned, everyone was very scared and avoided going to the living room or watching TV when he was around. During dinner, we would eat fast and leave the room. We were just scared of him. When he talked to people on phone, he screamed loud and that scared me. Back then I did not see my dad as the person he was, I just thought he was an angry person and not fun at all. I avoided him when I could.
Growing up, I found myself easily got hyped for unnecessary things. At school, I would be upset if someone took my stuff without asking or if someone step on my shoes, gossip about and so on. I, expected others not to be offended when I did the same thing. I trusted and relied 100% on what my mind told me. My friends found me very hard to tolerate and I was a pain to them. I dwelled a lot on past matters.
When I lashed at others, I regretted and promised myself to be kind and have control of my emotions/anger but I was never able to do so. I tried harder and after some time, I went back to doing the same. I was always wishing and looking for a fresh start to be a better human, who was not angry and screaming at people.
When I come home and find things are not well organized, or chores are not completed, I became very upset and lecture around. Instead of listening to them and finding why such a task was not properly done or not done at all, I could not control my angry self. My mind was too self-centered, I never thought of the other person a all. I had no patience, I listened and follow what my mind told me. My mind was negative with deep-rooted anger and anxiety.
I read books and joined psychology courses to master my psych, have a better understanding and respect of others. This too did not work for me either.
Meditation has enabled me to let go of all minds that made me easily upset. I could reflect on my life experience and see the situations that made me upset. Then with the meditation method, l let go of my false minds and the roots of my anger.
The more I meditated the more I could see objectively how I have lived my life and it was easy to discard my false self. Self-observing/reflection and letting go have tremendously helped to battle my anger and anxiety.
I now see how I wasted my life blaming and resenting my dear father. My father was never educated that much but worked harder and diligently to put a plate of food on the table for his family. He did what he could so that all of us(11 children) went to private schools and graduated from universities. He had a lot of responsibility weighing on his shoulders because he also took care of his mother, siblings, relatives, and friends. I am sorry dad, thank you for everything and I love you so much.
I am very thankful for Meditation, indeed I found the path I’ve been searching for; to become a true human.
I will share a beautiful video and hope it will help you.
