“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again. That is why I succeeded.”
I started my answer with this famous quote from Michael Jordan, one of the greatest basketball players of all time.
To overcome the fear of failure, I think, we first need to change our views on the concept of failure because it’s all about our attitudes. Most people have fixed ideas of the definition of failure. Those ideas are almost like beliefs that people take for granted. But let’s question it. What is failure? And who decides it?
We say we fail in something when we fail to get the outcome we planned or expected. But is it really a failure? Let’s take the story of how Post-it notes were invented. In 1968, Spencer Silver, a scientist at the company 3M, was working to invent a strong adhesive. Accidentally, he developed a new material that wasn’t as strong as he had planned to create. However, he did not see it as a failure, instead, he saw its potential value for something else. He and his coworkers couldn’t imagine what that could be at that time. It took them five years to come up with the idea to use it as notes that are both sticky and removable. And the new product made its debut in 1980. If Silver had taken his new material as a failure, it would have remained as a failure.
The first antibiotic penicillin was discovered when Alexander Flemming was doing an experiment with bacteria. One morning he came in and found his culture plates were contaminated with mold. As he was about to throw them out he noticed the bacteria weren’t growing around the mold. Hence antibiotics were discovered.
If we focus on a specific outcome, there’s a risk that we are short-sighted and unable to see another door open for us. Even though we can’t always make a dramatic shift out of that seemingly-failed outcome, we can always learn lessons from it. If we can learn lessons, that is not a failure but a chance to learn something. However, if we decide to see it as a failure, there would be no lessons learned and only a failure.
We shouldn’t see “failure” as something we must avoid. Failures are inevitable. Failures are like stepping stones to success. We need to remind ourselves of the value of failure. Thomas Edison, the inventor of light bulbs, said,
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
Imagine if you can see the value of failure and change your attitude toward it, your failure won’t remain as a failure but a learning experience and opportunity. It’s you who label it as a failure.
I used to have a strong fear of failure. When I was not confident enough about something, I was very anxious and fearful of failing. Even when I was confident, I still had the fear. Sometimes I even gave up the whole thing and ran away from it. Then I would feel really bad about myself and would try to convince myself that it was not that important in my life, or it was not what I really wanted. But I knew that it was not true and I was just making excuses for myself. I wished I hadn’t been like that but I didn’t know what to do about it. I thought I would always have to live with it because it was who I was. That was not a pleasant feeling to have.
Since I started to meditate, I was able to see what was going on in my mind and to figure out what mind I had about failure. I was able to face it, accept it, and let it go. Now I’m not fearful of failures because I don’t see them as failures. When you can let go of the fear, you automatically overcome it!
I am sharing a very inspiring video about how we can let things go.
